First Comes Love, Then Comes…
I’m here to wipe the cobwebs off of this blog. It’s good timing too, me and my long term boyfriend have come to terms with the fact that we NEED to break up. We don’t want to, we NEED to, and it’s because he is not attracted to me anymore. We’ve had this problem for the past year, and I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that without intimacy, love is merely a friendship. But you’ve got to hear the path towards my epiphany, and the realization that my problems are honestly not as serious as I imagine they are…
I was really sad for a while, as you could imagine. I felt like it was my fault that I couldn’t turn my boyfriend on, so I Googled my problem. **sidenote: I Google all of my problems. This includes things from, “What color lipstick should I buy?” to, “What do I say to my friend with anorexia?” I know it sounds insensitive, but Google knows all. **
Anyway, so I’m Googling “Why doesn’t my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?” when I stumble upon an online community of people who actually WANT relationships without sex. That’s right. They don’t care about sex. I found myself utterly amazed by this. Apparently there are actually asexual people out there who are completely and utterly isolated by their disinterest in sex. I was so intrigued that couldn’t stop researching. I found people that had legitimate polyamorous relationships, in which they found their emotional connection with one person, yet their sexual connection with another. Again, I found this utterly intriguing. I forgot all about my problems and found myself imagining life in one of these asexual, polyamorous people’s shoes.
I imagined having a profound connection with one person whom I cooked and cleaned with, raised children with, and cried with, yet all the while I’d sext with my man-candy and fuck his brains out once a week with hot oils, leather and lace lingerie. I imagined waking up to the person I love most, I’d look into his eyes, smell him, feel his warmth…yet I’d go to bed with the hottest piece of ass that a woman could wrap her legs around. What else could someone ask for?
Oh yea… fidelity…
How would it feel to know that the person you love is having an emotional connection (no matter how sexual or shallow it may be) with someone else? I don’t know the answer to that question, nor would I like to know, but it made me think… Nowadays when people talk about civil union, sometimes you’ll hear someone slide down the slippery slope with this statement: “If we legalize gay marriage, next we’ll legalize polygamy.”
My first instinct when I hear a statement like this is to think, “Uh, you’re fucking retarded.” I mean, it sounds utterly ridiculous, right? But…maybe not… I mean, I’ve never considered having a homosexual relationship but I’ve totally gotten curious about polyamory… does that make me THAT bad? Is it THAT taboo? After being rejected by the one I love most in bed, I gotta say… the prospect of a fuck buddy on the side doesn’t seem that bad.
Just sayin’
Betty Bel
Photo cred: 303dating or some shit like that, dude I forgot, gimme a break I just Googled “Polyamory” and found it. 
About Betty Bel
And who made the rules that living with one asexual man, raising his kids and being best friends and not having sex with him….then having the most amazing lover imaginable..like the Gods of sexual compatibility created him specifically for you…is wrong?
There’s nothing wrong with it if both people can handle it, in my opinion
“Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last.” -Charlotte Bronte, 1847